1. Never read a book of demon summoing aloud, even as a joke.
2. Do not search the basement, especially if
the power has just gone out.
3. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language
which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice
which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will
save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably
take several round to kill them, so be prepared.
4. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
5. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and
find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately
if you value your life.
6. If appliances start opening by themselves, move out.
7. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that,
despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely
shambling along, it's all still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
8. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns,
hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers,
butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made
from deceased companions.
Follow These Rules And Stay Alive!!
Pass This Information On To Your Friends!!
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