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These quotes were taken from actual employee
performance evaluations in a large U.S. Corporation.
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"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom
...and has started to dig deeper."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid
curiosity."
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"Works well when under constant supervision
and cornered like a rat in a trap."
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"He certainly takes a long time to make his point pointless."
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
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"He's been working with glue too much."
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"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
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"If you gave him a penny for his thoughts,
you'd get change."
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"He would argue with a signpost."
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."
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"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
"If you see two people talking and one of them looks bored,
he's the other one."
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"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge...
he only gargled."
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"It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm
to the egg."
"One neuron short of a synapse."
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"Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
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