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17. "I finished the Oreo's."
16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."
15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess
that Pamela Anderson had a baby."
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."
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13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."
12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a
surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea.
Boy, that's gotta hurt."
10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to
Willard Scott!"
9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
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8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your *own* ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."
5. "Got milk?"
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4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."
3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
And the Number 1 Fatal Thing To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant...
1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."
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